Death comes in three's...

My boss' Uncle died last week.

My daughter's sweetie lost his Uncle this morning.

It is a warm spring time day here in Utah and I have a window open to cool the house.  I heard sobbing. The kids weren't home and so it couldn't be over the loss of Stavo's Uncle.  But it was so sad, the sound of it was breaking my heart.  I went in search of the sadness and saw my neighbor carrying her yellow cat into the house. 

He was such a wonderful cat.  She would walk the dogs and that cat would walk right along with them. It was always awesome to see them out walking.  The cat following along tail held proudly in the air. He had a jaunty walk, he knew that he was indeed wonderful as there was no leash keeping him in line.

Awesome cat.  Awesome life. 

What's wrong with this picture?

What's wrong is that it is the mother's story.  The mother's story is all back story.  It is not the story I want to tell.  And my story has been fighting me. Like duh!!

This revelation happened yesterday when I realized that my setting pictures below my 'magical shelf" was not my setting now. The story had changed.  So began  the process of discovery for the story I'm writing.  Below is my new setting.

Then I realized that the board for the people in my story was also horribly wrong.  The light bulb, it was the mother's story. Not the daughter's.  So I changed that as well. 

Oh gods, yes. That is Jacob from the 'Twilight' saga.  Samil is dark and he was the only actor I could think of that had the dark coloring.  Okay, I lie.  He really does it for me and I think Bella was a total fool.  Just saying!!

Here's the total package.  It is what I see as I write.  Love it.

The little lizard is my vestigial tail.  In the original story he played a part, and I just can't bring myself to make him go away.  So he stays.  Maybe he's right and he is important.  Maybe not.



I have one of these...

Not the breed, but the antics. 
I love you Bob.

Oh, I see it now...

Okay, I chat with my critters all the time. I even answer for them.  After seeing Garfield minus Garfield, I suddenly understand how my neighbors must see me.

ahaha I carry on a one sided conversations, that are complete in my head.

I can only imagine what my neighbors must think.

Wow, if I'd been born in another time I'm thinking I'd either be in motley or be the crazy lady everyone avoids.

Sometimes it comes back and...

Sometime you can pay it forward.

I had the opportunity to pay something forward today.  My son, Jake, is my...go to guy... he is the one with the ability to try and figure out what his crazy mother needs and fix the problem.

Before I'd call my son I'd think, what would Jake do? and I'd try to figure it out all by myself.  Even if I ended up calling Jake, it was okay 'cause at least I'd tried and there were times when I did it. YaY.

Today I had the opportunity to 'pay it forward'.  One of our employees that works from home is about 100 years old... okay 89, and he gets frustrated with all the new fangeld technology. Fax machines and the like.

(Since he works from home I've only ever met him once, but we do have occasion to talk on the phone and I try to talk him through a senior moment or two. It is the gods own luck that we have not both had a senior moment at the same time. ; )

He called me with a non-work related question.  How can I fax to Japan?  I tell him what I know, that there are codes and what not.  He says he has Japan's code. (I was impressed) However, it still won't go through.

I thought, what has Jake done in the past?
He jumps on line and googles it.

I did it!!! YAY!!!!

I was able to payforward a small portion of all that Jake has done for me.
Love ya buddy!!!

The Fortune Cookie Lied

Said what ever decision I made Saturday would be good.
I beg to differ.

Decided to cut my hair. 
Way wrong decision.
Well maybe not WAY wrong, just not right.

I was impressed with the gal.  When I said I liked the length she didn't say, "How many inches do you want cut off."  That happens to me all the time. But I just said I LIKED the length. ;)))  This gal said, "Okay, we'll just trim this up and..."

I said I needed to clean up my layers.  She did that, but the top layer has fallen on a curl or something and it isn't working quite right.  I know my hair is probably still in 'shock' and I hope that it snaps out of the funk that it is in. 

Dumb Fortune Cookie.

You know it's a bad day when...

You send your boss this e-mail:

I may be in trouble.  Mica called about your 11:00 closing and was being a total bitch.  In her defense let me state that I'm not in the best of moods today.  I'm dead ass tired and it probably came across on the phone, but regardless, she had me running to every freaking desk in the office.

I FAXED INSTRUCTIONS TO YOU LAST NIGHT!!!

Run back to Nancy's desk to see if this is true. 
It's not.

WHAT ARE YOU WIRE INSTRUCTIONS?

That information is at my desk and I used the phone in the back to answer her question.
Put the bitch on hold.

Run to my desk, answer question.

WHEN IS THIS THING SCHEDULED TO CLOSE?

Put her on hold and fire up your computer.
**Jeopardy song plays in the back ground**
Do you realize how long it takes to boot your computer??
Answer her question.

IS THERE ANOTHER CLOSER IN THE OFFICE?

I have to tell her 'No", as Nan has already informed me there is NO WAY she will speak with her. I assured her that you'll be here in plenty of time and life will be good.

WHO AM I SPEAKING WITH????

ahahah  I'm pretty sure I'm in trouble.

Can't...Stop...Laughing

I will tell you all about Writer's Group a bit later, but for now this will make you laugh out loud.

Hot Seat Awaits...

da da dummmmmmm

Tomorrow night they will be looking at my opening scene.
What I am hoping for:

Direction.
Thoughts.
Ideas?

My Nano novel just took me for a ride that ended in all right turns. 
That damn thing was going no where.
I fought it and fought it and wanted to throw it out the window.  The people in my life screamed NOOOO!!! and so I didn't. 

We formed a writer's group recently and needed to submit a chapter.  I wanted to submit something current and yet I really had nothing current that I wanted critiqued.  So I blasted out a chapter (okay to those who suffer through these things with me it wasn't a blast) but I got the opening chapter finished and we will go over that tomorrow.

Problem is:  I have not finished the book and so I KNOW the chapter will change. 
Maybe entirely.
I am still in discovery trying to figure the whole thing out and so....
Is it my self defense mechanism?  Did I make it this way so that the criticism would sting less? Can't be certain of the answer... I suppose as long as it is not a continual thing I will be okay :)
I'll let you know how it goes.

As for the time thing.
So far, so good.

I've been able to do the things that I want to do.  After the Wonk podcast I've had time to read the blogs that I want to read and hell, I'm even blogging.  YaY!!

So...how's that workin' for ya?

Well, not so well.

The Sunday MY TIME thing.  Um,.not working.

My kids are great, my hubbie is great, it is that I'm trying to cram too much into one day. The day that was reserved for quiet and 'me' time, aka butt on couch, has turned way too busy.

Since I declared the Sunday ME DAY. I've discovered that I'm using it to catch up on the things I let go during the week.  It has turned in to a nightmare.

NEW PLAN:

Come home.  750 words, once completed I can then douche the house.  After which I can watch Katie.  Love Katie.  After that Story Wonk... depending on the verbosity I may or may not be able to watch Seinfeld and fix dinner.  ahaha

Now this will work for days when I can actually come home.
I've yet to figure out a schedule for the days when I'm out until all hours. (For me that includes getting home past 8:00 pm... sad but true). 

I will get it figured out so that I'm doing what makes me happy and keeping the world I live in happy. Where there is a will there's a way.

I can do it!!

Be aware of your surroundings.

We are told to be aware of our surroundings. Especially for a woman who walks alone in the wee hours of the morning with a dog that was a kitten in another life. He’s a sweetheart. Not a mean bone in his body.

During our nocturnal wanderings we’ve had our share of close calls. The car with the stupid boys that tried to run us over, odd men standing (hiding?) in the bog for no apparent reason that I could ascertain. Angry voices and gun shots.  I suppose the typical things one might expect on the west side of the valley? ;)

The most frightening was the morning that the two dogs attacked Chester. We were at an intersection in our neighborhood, we waited as a car drove past and next thing I knew two dogs were on Chester. A week before I’d told my daughter that should this scenario ever occur, drop the leash and get the hell out of the area. I love Chester, but my daughter takes precedence. I did the exact opposite. I was kicking the dogs, wailing on them with the heavy end of our retractable leash. Long story short, with the intervention of a neighbor I was finally able to get Chester home and we survived. I do carry pepper spray now, and have had occasion to use it once.

This brings me to ‘being aware of your surroundings’. We were walking at the park and Chester was doing the thing he does when an animal has recently been in the area. Chester is intent on his frantic sniffing search thing. I was intent on the dog, my mind wondering what animal it might be. I couldn’t smell skunk, we weren’t in the bunny area, hadn’t seen a cat….

I looked up and “WHAO!!” There was a baby German Shepherd sniffing Chester’s butt and neither one of us were cognizant. Ahahaha Needless to say I scared the poor little thing. His People were apparently sleeping in a van. The side door was open and the pup ran in sat down and woofed at us.

It was awesome.

Mummy

Mummy: Ash wrapped in toilet paper.
~G-Kid

A Room of One's Own. Virginia Woolf

It is funny that I'm trying to find my room. I always blamed Papa, he was an ENORMOUS time drain. I love him and accepted as daughter my life was 'less than' and his needs 'were great'.

Not saying his needs were not, but...
I'm not my mother. No wish to be my mother. I am me. Flawed and all that, but I did the best I could given the circumstances and for the most part the children survived me and my flaws...

When my dad died, I thought that time would open up and ....
Not so much. I've found that the swirling herds of need saw that I was no longer engaged and descended.
This is not a bad thing.
It is just a hard thing.

My mornings are no longer my own.
My evenings are gobbled up by the needs of others.

I am not writing as much as I'd like. This is not good, but I have no room of my own.

I decided that Sunday's were mine. I filled Saturday with needful things and I still find my Sunday encroaching on my time alone. Cat threw up on the carpet and comforter. Need to clean both. Stupid stuff really.

Sundays will be mine. I acknowledge the fact that it might take time but, I have given all and have asked for little; I am asking for this.

Sundays are mine. My room of my own. My time.
I need my universe to accept this and respect tins.

My time.

Wait a minute...

I think... no wait... is that a co-worker?

I think I've worked with this person..

Oh, it's a cat. My bad.

Marcus Welby - NOT!!

On Sunday night breathing became difficult.  It was as if I had glass shards in my lung.  It was on the left side so thoughts of an emergency room visit flooded my brain.  But it didn't feel like a heart attack, it felt like my lung.  So I tossed and turned all night in pain getting minimal sleep.

I arrived for my appointment and the nurse did all the nurse things and listened to my description of 'glass shards in my lungs when I try to breathe'.  She immediately hooked me up to an EKG machine to see if it was my heart.

Nope, not a heart attack.  Everything is A-okay with my heart.  Good BP, good rate, good everything.  Nope, not the heart.  I could have told them that!!  But I have to let them do their job.

When the doctor finally came into the room he sits in front of the computer and asks me some questions and I am answering. He's getting frustrated, "They have the wrong template.  This one is for RESPIRATORY."
"Gosh, sorry Doc.  I must have let them astray when I called in and told them I was having pain BREATHING," I say sarcastically. 

He seemed lost without the correct template.  I wanted to scream, but the sharp intake of breath with the accompanying pain was not worth the effort and so I thought to myself instead:  Dude, step away from that computer. Use that decorative item that is draped around your neck, get your ass over here and listen to my FREAKING lungs."

He did eventually come over and do "doctorly things." 

I still have him stumped.  ahahaha

This is what I learned from the $25.00 co-pay
1.  My heart is sound. 
2. My lungs are good too.
3. I finally understand all those times my dad drove me crazy when the doctors did not do things in the way he expected   When you are expecting Dr. Welby and a hands on approach:  Let me listen to what your body is telling me and you get technology geek: Damn, I have the wrong template, it is NOT good. 

By the end of the appointment I would have been happy to have that grumpy gimp House for my doctor.