No. No. No. No. No! This is just wrong.

Our state food is GREEN JELLO?? I thought that was a joke.
 Dear gods nooooooooooooooo.

You know you write fantasy when...

Every morning while you are doing Gold's Gym Shape Boxing with your daughter and the little mini Wii says, Guard! Keep moving,  you envision guards in a castle.

Yep. Every morning. You'd think that my brain would make the transition to real life, but it never does.

Letters

This came via e-mail and I thought it was pretty funny.
Favorites:  Mayan Calender, Palin, and the spider.

Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because

some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely, The Mayans

Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely, The Titanic

Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely, Sarah Palin

Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco....

Sincerely, United States

Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely, Parents Everywhere

Dear Anne Frank,

Two can play this game....

Sincerely, Waldo

Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely, Alcohol

 

Dear Haiti,

Is it too early to ask what's shakin'?

Sincerely, Seriously Going To Hell

 

 

Dear Twi-hards,

If he sparkles, he's probably one of ours

Sincerely, Gay Men Of America

Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You

piece of shut.

Sincerely, Every iPhone User

 

Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I

was here first.

Sincerely, Dr. Pepper

Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you

go?

Sincerely, Terrified