Saturday, January 21, 2012

And I was a Bat Boy too...

This is a TMI moment... but well, here we go...

My dad introduced me to the Edgar Rice Borroughs - I love the martian series most of all -- I read and re-read it  more times than I can tell.

When I got my Kindle I went in search of the series.  As I am re-reading it I realize that it is where I get some of my strange phrasing from...I saw in it my love for DH, as he is my John Carter, the ever resourceful, ever intelligent, ever able to make the impossible happen.

How could you not love such a wizard?

I realized today that my dad gave me a gift -- we went from store, to store, to store finding these stories.  I ate them up and I believed in them....  Mars became my escape.

It wasn't until today that I realized that it was also my salvation.


My dad beat my mom, I was aware but....

When I found myself in a similar situation, acceptance at first because that's just life and then...
NO!! A resounding NO!!

I left and came home to a dad who gave me 3 days to get OUT!!
(Same dad who depended upon me until the end... different story ;)
He didn't understand how I could leave someone so much like him.

I love you dad.
I forgive you.  May you find peace.

The abusive father also gave me the nuts to survive.

I was a bat boy when girls didn't do such things.  He was the coach and I was his choice.

He also gave me the Martian Series.

When I first read it I saw myself as Dejah Thoris - the loved and protected.
But now I realize that I was John Carter too.

I fought my way back from a bad situation.  I did what needed to be done to survive and I am a warrior not a princess; but I am a princess too, thanks to DH... though he came back on the scene years upon years after I made my escape.

I left the known abuse and degradation behind and went forth into a world where I didn't know what would happen.  I took the leap of faith.  Lept off the edge and believed that all would be well.

As a girl bat boy...
The ump made my life hell... he thought he was being kind, or protective, or something... it was hell.
Some of them made me cower behind the dugout fence before I could run out and get the bat and helmet.  Some made me run behind the bleachers to give the helmet to the opposing team, while the male of the species could run a diagonal course across the field and have time to grab a drink or fries between innings.

John Carter gave me belief in the impossible.  Oh he fucked up, as we all do, but he always survived.

I survived. Wasn't pretty I am embarrassed to admit. But I did survive.

In the re-reading I see where I got the source of my gusto, my ability to laugh in the face of threat, of danger, of.... I see how I survived.

Dear Dad --
Thank you!!!

Dear Mom--
Next life, kick him in the balls... just say'n.

They are making a movie  John Carter and I can't wait to see it.
In this day and age I am sure Dejah Thoris is strong beyond belief. 
Women these days are strong.  I am certain I can let DH be my John Carter and I will be the strong Dejah Thoris... warrior princess? 

I found a clip, let's see what happens. ; )

Keeping in mind that Edgar Rice Burrows died before I was born...

It was a different world and yet I lived in a different wold.  His derring do was to me that which made wonderfulness.  I realize that todays sophisticated readers he might read as other, but his simplicity and love for his woman, his desire... they made me what I am today. 

A story I wrote, long, long ago... The Card


  1. Sorry you had to go through that. Glad you got out. You are STRONG and BEAUTIFUL.

  2. You came through it with your sense of humour intact...quite an accomplishment.

  3. JRMI = just the right amount of information. I'm happy you survived and also that you found your wizard.