Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Not sure what I'm thinking exactly...

I attended Erin's funeral today, my 'son-out-law's' uncle  What do you call the person who would be an 'in-law' but my children skipped the paperwork? 

Many things hit me and would I could have felt right about pulling out my note book and writing down what I heard. 

"Didn't recognize him. Cleans up good." Spoken by someone at our table.

Grandpa George, "Talked to him for 30 minutes. We both had the same memories. I guess I should know who he is."
Later:  "I talked to him for an hour, suppose I should know who he is."
Mrs. Grandpa George says, "That was...."
Grandpa George, "Your brother?  I KNEW I should know who he was."

These are just a few of the things.
There was sadness and tears, but there was rejoicing also...

"He's the last one in the family to shoot a deer. Glad that it was him."
 (The deer hunt is a big deal)
"He's the best cook."
"Did you hear him play the guitar?"

Random conversations mixed with the young ones trying to figure out what a tie was, knowing it was important and proud to be wearing it.

It was a wonderful experience.  What I'm happy for right daughter has the wonderful opportunity to call these people family.

Can't say that with my family.  Not sure what went wrong, but we are broken.  I've accepted that we are 'broken' as a part of  'life'.  I never realized what was lost until today.

It was a funeral in more ways than one.
I think I'm sad.


  1. Aren't gatherings like this fascinating though? I'm so sorry for your broken-ness (we all have that to some degree), it can be a difficult thing to face. What we have to look for is the good relationships we are blessed with, and then be happy about that. Ya know, after the sad dissipates a bit.

  2. Thanks Julie. I do have so many other good relationships. I was just feeling sorry that the kids didn't grow up with that kind of 'family'. But since we ARE broken, it is probably better in the long run.

  3. I have a great nuclear family, but we grew up in a different province from the extended family--so they're all closer with each other. Sometimes I envy the closeness, and then other times I watch them all sticking their noses in each others' business, and I'm glad not to be part of it. You learn to appreciate the benefits of your own life's circumstances, I think.

  4. Mabel, it's true. There is merit to both ways of life. All in all, now that I'm done being a boob, am happy with what I have. ;)