Julie tells me I need to grieve.
I want to say, "like Fried Mush" yeah!!
That is such a "Duh", that it should not need to be said and yet....
Even I forgetTHAT I am allowed to be sad.
Stinky cat food sad.
Chicken legs and fried mush kind of sad.
"How are you?"
"Well, I totally suck, sad."
At the store when the helpful employee ask me how I was doing I really wanted to say, "Stinky cat food and you?"
I didn't as he was truly trying to be helpful and not just doing his job.
I am just mean these days.
I am sad and angry and nothing is right.
This isn't a boo hoo me or a suck it up you wha baby moment.
This just is.
Julie says that it is like waves crashing on the shore. You can almost hear them.
The fucking waves are trying to wash me out to sea.
I think I have it together, then I don't.
Sea creatures skitter to avoid the crash of the wave and I seem to be facing it straight on dareing it to, to, to what?
I lost my freaking bookend.
Then I lost my niece and my uncle. Scotty's wife can't be far behind.
STINKY CAT FOOD!!