Saturday, August 18, 2012

The roles we play...

It has been a crazy summer for me.  The Lady of Lightning struck close, disrupting everything and making me find old ways, new ways and other ways, to deal.

Today I was stung twice and saw three crows/ravens/big black birds that followed us and taunted the pup.  The birds causing my daughter to skitter through all kinds of contortions before corralling the pup.

Not sure what it all means: 

Bees are a long time symbol for accomplishing the impossible.

Ravens are messengers.

The pup just makes me crazy.  (Though he's getting bettsr ;)


It made me think about the roles we play.
After my mum died, I took on her role. I did that which my mother did and took care of my father until I eventually killed him.  (His decision - My action)  Love ya dad.

Prior to that I was Aunt Gay - the funny one.  Freaking hilarious.  The light of the party.  

But I am not any of those things any more. 

I began to realize it at Uncle Don's funeral when they looked to me to make the reunion happen.  That was a Scotty thing.  That's a roll I never took on. I've never tried to be my brother.  I delegated.  The reunion happened today and if I ever get a freaking cord... perhaps photos.

I am a sibling, I am Aunt and Terrific (Great) Aunt.  Not mum!!  I don't do all for everyone. 

The Lady of Lightening has struck.
My world has changed.

I think it is a good thing.

8 comments:

  1. Being our own true, and genuine, selves is SO damn important. No matter what anyone else expects.

    Be you. Strong and beautiful, just as you are.

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  2. I am the oldest and because parents died young my siblings have looked at me for deciion making for decades. A few years ago I tried to leave the throne. They wouldn't have it. Now I'm back in full reign again. Having more fun with it the second time around. We all do what we gotta do

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    Replies
    1. Well, if the shoe fits.... I'm glad you are enjoying the second go around.

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  3. All families have trouble when you evolve out of a delegated role. They'll get over it. Or not. Either way you need to be you.

    ReplyDelete